Absence…

Hi, my name is Steve, i hope this finds you well.

i recently lost Sue, my beautiful wife of 40 years, to cancer. i kinda use this blog as a way to get through how i feel, so my posts are not always cheery and happy-go-lucky. This is one of those times.

Recently, i have used words like heartbroken, sad, miserable, lonely, lost, broken and a hundred more. This morning, 3 a.m., i woke up to find another : ABSENCE.

Sue is absent from my life, my world. i have a Sue-sized cavity in my life that is cavernous.

Have you ever seen a pothole that’s been filled in? It never looks quite the same.

Have you ever filled in a crack in brickwork or plaster? It never looks quite the same.

In the same way, no matter what i try to use to fill that hole that Sue used to fill so easily, so perfectly, i just know that it will never quite happen, my life will never be the same again.

Have you ever seen a perfect wooden dovetail joint? Designed to have complete resistance to separation, it takes something of magnitude to pull it apart.

In the same way, death was the only thing that could have parted Sue and me. And even now, it hasn’t. As has been said before :

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

A heart doesn’t stop loving just because the other person cannot be seen. As far as the heart is concerned, the loved one is simply in the next room, no matter how far away that room is.

That said, there is a massive absence in my heart, in my life. An absence of Sue.

My heart goes out to anyone out there who has felt, or is feeling, that same way about a special someone in their life.

Take care of yourselves and each other,

Steve

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